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In Target, Meredith (2) is standing in the cart while I'm looking at a shelf of baby things. I see something fly by my eye. I ignored it for a brief moment until it registers that it was kind of big, and purple. I turn to look at the purple mound and then in the cart at Meredith who was standing in the cart without clothes on! She took off her dress and flung it down the isle! I quickly re-dressed her and moved on.
I began looking at another shelf a little while later. It was then that I saw something in my peripheral vision fly past me---something white. I turned quickly and there was a diaper lying open on the floor. I turned and looked at Meredith again and she flashed me! Ahhhhhhhhhh! I ran her to the bathroom and put a new diaper on her and reminded her to stay dressed. Stinker!
I'll never forget the time when Madi (who was two at the time) slapped the Hobby Lobby guy on the butt! I about died. It was even worse when she did it again to another guy bending over looking at greeting cards in Walmart. After being a little freaked out, the men were very good natured about it.
Most of my other stories deal with a screaming baby, finding stray objects or toys I didn't put in the cart there when I go to check out, or toddler fits.
The story of when I fell on Benjamin was pretty good, though, so I'll close with this story. I had three children at the time and Benjamin was a little toddler. I was selling Mary Kay at the time and had to run to Walmart before an open house where I was going to serve banana splits. I was already dressed up and wearing my favorite new shoes- high heeled clogs- high- high- heeled clogs. These clogs were a good four or five inches high. They were trendy and sassy and I was excited to wear them out.
After shopping with all three kids, throwing things in the cart in a hurry, and making my way through the store amidst crowds of people, I finally reached the check-out counter. Cailynn (4) was helping me load things onto the belt when I realized that I had forgotten the main ingredients on my list- the ice cream! I asked the lady if it was okay to go and grab it since it wasn't too far and she agreed to watch Cailynn and help me finish unloading.
I made my way through crowds of people and long lines and to the freezer section. I quickly grabbed the vanilla ice cream and carried Benjamin back. As I approached the registers, Benjamin started fussing so I set him down and encouraged him to walk. I tried to continue on quickly and tripped over Benjamin and fell down on top of him screaming loudly all the way down to the floor! Long lines of people around me started to scream as well. I got up and picked Benjamin up and humbly tried to make my way back to the register as red as a tomato. She was almost finished and Cailynn calmly placed the last item on the belt. I was so flustered I barely got the money to her. Benjamin was crying loudly still and as I nervously tried to comfort him I started calling him "Moo-moo"! The woman just looked at me and bid me good-day. I couldn't get out of that store fast enough! The horror- oh, the horror!
Let's hear some of YOUR hair-raising-shopping-with-kids-tales!
3 comments:
I'm laughing at the story about falling on Benjamin, which I always do when you tell me this story!! I think it's the part about other people screaming with you.
This wasn't so hair-raising as cute, but I was in the Dollar Tree with Isaac and Jesse. Jesse was just 6 mo. old at the time. I was looking at baskets and it must have been around Thanksgiving because they had the cornucopias out. I turned away for a minute and when I came back, Isaac had placed on cornucopia on his head, and one on Jesse's, and neither was trying to get it off, just started back at me like "What?" They looked like Harvest Smurfs, well, except for having blue skin.
Another time Isaac decided he liked these leopard print thong underwear and tried to sneak those into the cart. I was horrified.
There's always the siren screaming of a cartload of children I've had to deal with. Thank goodness for the kindhearted women out there that give me sympathetic looks, knowing what it's like and that they have been there. Simeon has been the worst. You can hear him clear on the other side of Walmart when he's screaming.
Having the store call "Code Adam" is always fun. Had to do that like 3 times in one month because I lost Isaac, who ran off down some aisle. At the time, I didn't realize his eyesight was bad, so he couldn't see me from a distance and got lost easily.
I did have a cart fall over with one of my kids in it one time. Thankfully they were not hurt, but boy was I freaked out, and so were the other people in line. We all tried to get to the cart on time and none of us made it. Then Simeon one time, after already having some delays due to head trauma, climbed up on top of those shopping carts disguised as trucks or cars. He, of course, slid off the top and landed on his head. He screamed, held his breath,turned blue and passed out. I'm trying to hold him, keep track of the other 4 kids, console Simeon, the checker is still scanning food, but hasn't stopped to make sure Simeon was okay, and then I had to juggle stuff around to pay. Simeon was okay once I got home, but had a horrible bump on his forehead and not to mention, any time you go out in public with a lot of kids, something like this happens and you feel like a complete freak. Usually people are sweet and sympathetic, but that doesn't always consume the embarrassment you feel.
One more: we were in Walmart, I had three kids with me at the time. Isaac was about 4 at the time. We were over in the fish department and I was distracted by the price of salmon. One of the meat worker guys came up to tell me Isaac had opened a bottle of fish oil and drank out of it and then "OMG, HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" just as Isaac took another swig. We didn't know if we should gag or stop him...how do you get that out of your kid's mouth? I confiscated the bottle, Isaac looked at me kind of funny and the meat worker was happy to take the bottle and throw it away for me. As we were walking away, Isaac says "Mom? That didn't taste real good."
I imagine not.
OMG that is just funny! I was laughing again and again. Even the fish story doesn't get old! Those are classics! LOL!
Sounds like Isaac has some good taste in underwear! He he he!
Oh how funny, thanks for the laugh! Here's one!~
Adventures in grocery shopping
Who ever said shopping is boring? I did. That's what I used to think. But now, I have been proved wrong, ever so wrong.
Last night we were at Costco. We barely had a few things in the cart. Something comes over my children when we enter a store. Everyone gets into different characters when they go grocery shopping. They all rotate. Sometimes I will have a dancer, a rapper, a singer, a runner, a ring leader, (for our circus).
Well it's enhanced even more at Costco for some reason. Maybe it's the wide aisles, who knows. We were towards the back, and Bradley was the dancer this time, and was doing something resembling a spinning wild ape. He was heading for the door, and Derek suddenly says in a loud panicked voice, "NOOOOOO" I was shocked, then looked over and saw Bradley spinning out of control towards the wine/emergency exit. It was inevitable that either a wine display would soon be crashing to the ground, or the emergency exit door would go off. Either option was horrifying, but I was hoping he would miss the wine display. And right before our eyes, (and several other shoppers stunned eyes) Bradley slammed into the emergency exit. Boom! The alarm went wailing off. So, of course, that means more of an audience. I mean lights, sound, action, we're practically a motion picture, we're better because it's live!
I start going towards Brad, but Derek grabbed my arm. He wanted us to all just escape asap, and not even bother buying the stuff in our cart. From the look of mortification and determination on his face, I knew I must comply. I was being the willing wife, and started following him when suddenly we hear another scream. I guess during scene one of the emergency exit saga, Jaden and Tyler had started their own show. They were in a push war. The scream we heard, was Jaden. We looked over just as he was flying backward onto the concrete floor. Too bad for Tyer, because now everyone knew the reason Jaden flew onto the floor. Ty had pushed him. The expression on Ty's face showed that knew he was more than in trouble, so he took a straight shot somewhere towards the frozen foods section, faster than I'd ever seen that kid run. Derek was so fired up because of the events leading up to this, his reflexes kicked in, and he jumped upwards, over Jaden on the ground, and started chasing Tyler. Meanwhile Bradley is in tears because the alarm from the emergency exit door alarm is very loud. He said he thought the police were coming to get him. I picked him up and said it's okay, and told him the police aren't coming. Chase was witnessing all of this from the front little seat of the shopping cart. Who knows what was going through his little mind. But maybe it was something like "What? I can't believe I have to miss out on this, I could be running around too, it looks like so much fun, I want to make loud exciting sound go off, I want to run through the store too! Why do I have to sit here, strapped down in this boring cart, while everyone else has all of the fun?? The curious little look on his face made you wonder if that's exactly what he was thinking. But what he did next, made you know that is what he was thinking. He took my drink, which was tucked beside my purse, and dumped it onto the ground. Ice cold lemonade was now all over my lower leg and foot.
Derek's attempt at catching Tyler was futile. Tyler has had too much training dodging captors and ducking at just the right moment. Derek soon came back, and told us he was lost. Derek went over and got Jaden off of the ground, came over to Brad crying, me, sopping wet, and Chase laughing. We just looked at each other and simultaneously said "we are out of here." We headed straight for the exit. But just then I saw out of the corner of my eye, someone from our ward! I thought to myself, oh gosh, not now. I do not have it in me to be pleasant and friendly at the moment. My speed quickened. So did Derek's. We hear, "Derek? Aubri?" We pretend we didn't. But then we turned around and saw these sweet happy people standing there. Our reply to them, "Nancy, George, wow, what a surprise, SO nice to see you!!" (names changed) I was literally panting and sweating, and my head was spinning.
Our friends cheered us up a little bit. As we were talking to them we saw Tyler out of the corner of our eye. Derek dashed away, attempting to catch him again. I was left standing with a perma-smile, trying to quickly smooth over Derek's sudden exit. A few uncomfortable moments later, Tyler and Derek were back. We ended up talking with them for quite a while. They told us that in their family, they have banned family Costco trips. No wonder they looked soooo at ease and content and cheerful!
When we walked outside, it was pouring rain, lightening was striking all over, and the pavement already had a few inches of water. The weather was a perfect backdrop for our
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